Something hitting hard right now?
Let's take it one small step at a time. Nothing to read through. Just tap.
About three minutes. You can stop at any point.
How big is the feeling right now?
Tap the one that fits. There's no wrong answer.
That's a lot to hold.
Let's slow the body down before we do any thinking. Six slow breaths, about a minute.
Breathe in for four, out for six.
Which is closest?
It doesn't have to be exact.
The Feelings Wheel can help you find the word. Then pick whichever of these three is closest.
What set it off?
Just the event. We'll get to what it means next.
Add a few words
What is the feeling telling you it means?
Tap any that sound familiar.
Does the size of the feeling match the facts, or the story?
Slide it to wherever feels true.
A bit of both. That's common.
Here's what the feeling wants.
It will feel forced at first. That's normal. It still works.
Why does this help?
Feelings and actions run in both directions. What you do sends a signal back to the feeling. Act the opposite of what it wants, and the feeling starts to follow your lead.
Pick one to try in the next ten minutes.
Small on purpose. You only need to do one.
What's the smallest useful step?
Not the whole fix. Just the next thing.
Go do it.
Come back when you're done. This will be here.
How big is the feeling now?
Same scale as before. Whatever it is, it's useful to know.
What you just practised
Checking the facts. Separating what happened from the story attached to it, and asking whether the size of the feeling fits.
Acting opposite. Doing the reverse of what the feeling pulls you toward, so the feeling has to follow.
These are two emotion regulation skills from dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT). They get easier and work faster with practice.
Want help with feelings that hit this hard?
These skills work best alongside someone who can tailor them to you. Sills Psychology offers consultations in Calgary.
Book a consultation with Sills Psychology